Since the first of November, I've been calling November 2008, "Sweet November". I was receiving all kinds of beautiful news that made my heart fill with joy for my friends and for the direction of my life. I am not ashamed to say that I am wary of extreme emotions. In fact, that level of excitement about life is something I do with caution, because I am accustomed to disappointment. Whenever too many good things happen at one time, I often look for the hammer to come... the other shoe to drop.
As I grow older, I realize that life has it's ups and downs. I've also learned that no period of down lasts too long and even in times where things are not going according to my plan, I can find things to smile about. I can find a song to sing to bring back the sunshine. So I am learning, even in the midst of "Sweet November" to enjoy my highs with childlike abandon and to learn that sometimes, there is some bitter mixed in with your sweet. Basic lesson huh? I know that on an intellectual level, but I realized that emotional I am consistently unprepared for life's upsets while I'm enjoying my sweet.
Today, I gave myself permission to continue to enjoy my sweet, even though disappointment nearly derailed my happy party. I am fully invested in a life of joy that surpasses temporary set backs. I realize how hesitant I've been to fully invest in joy because of my fear of sorrow. I want a better life than that for me. I am wearied of worrying about what will happen next and when the next disappointment will hit me. I commit to enjoying my sweet.
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