You, Him and HIs Dream

How to find the balance when dating the young, fabulous and ambitious

We want him. We know we want him. A man with ambition. It is the reason why many of us dress ourselves in too tight shoes to stand in too packed clubs. We want that mover and shaker, the one who’s making deals and going places. Now before the defenses come out please understand I am not judging, just putting a voice to a truth we all already know.

So we’ve met him. It’s all gravy now, right? Well let’s think about it. Where is he on his journey to his dreams? He knows a lot of people, gets invited to some pretty swank parties and carries that air of confidence that magnetizes a room. But he also works all times of the evening. Where there should be snuggling, he has “blue glow” on his face from the computer screen.

It’s wonderful to meet someone on the verge, but we must realize, many men in their late twenties and early to mid thirties are still establishing themselves in their field, as many of us are. He may not be able to be the doting boyfriend you thought you’d have when you entered this relationship. Shelia’s boyfriend who works for UPS has time to stop by her job everyday and bring her lunch. Your ambitious love however, may be meeting an important client, and may only be able to meet you for dinner. Will this comparison cause him grief in the evening cause you where jealous while Shelia showed off her chicken Caesar salad?

There are two things I’d like you to consider while pondering this relationship with this young, fabulous and ambitious gentleman. Is he someone who works hard, but also makes time for you? Or, is he one who works with no regard to your wants and needs in the relationship? Being young, fabulous and ambitious is not a free pass for someone to disregard your wants and needs, but we must realize while in this partnership we may have to sacrifice a few creature comforts. Sacrifices however should be mutual and not one-sided.

In your commitment, do not forget to take care of yourself. Never lay your happiness in someone else’s hands. Be sure to be on the verge yourself. Don’t be the nagging, waiting girlfriend on the other end of the phone. Don’t be his beck and call girl. We know all to well that girlfriends and wives for that matter are being replaced everyday. Make yourself a priority and be honest about what you are actually getting from the relationship. Then make up your mind if it’s a relationship you want to keep. Know that a selfish, workaholic boyfriend often becomes a selfish, workaholic husband if you let him. He is not going to change. So if your emotional needs aren’t being met, take your glad bags and drop him before you become overly attached to someone who is not slightly attached to you.